Weddings can be a lot of fun, they can also be very stressful. Over the years we have written a lot of blogs about how to have your dream wedding. Today we thought we would share some of our thoughts on things you can do to avoid some of the top mistakes we have noticed that brides make before, during and even after their weddings.
10 – Timing is Everything – Both for your planning and on the day of (this is why we recommend a professional planner see #6). For your planning, give yourself time. Don’t rush the wedding date, if you want a big dream wedding give yourself the proper time to plan everything out. The last thing you want is anxiety, stress and loss of sleep. On your wedding day be courteous of everyone’s time. If there is going to be down time between your ceremony and your reception then make sure your guests know that or make sure you have something for them to do while they are waiting for you to get pictures. I remember one wedding where friends and family were sitting around for 3 hours doing nothing waiting for the bride and groom to get their pictures taken, change their clothes etc etc. Be courteous of their time, they are there for you, but they too are giving up some of their own personal time to be there with you. I also remember one bride who was more than an hour late for her ceremony causing everyone to wait and the minister to be late for his next wedding later that day. Her reasoning was, “It is my wedding I can do what I want.” Probably not the best attitude.
9 – Not Hiring The Right Professionals / Never Assume - The wedding professionals you hire can make or break your day. If something is important to you DO NOT leave it up to chance. Make sure you hire a professional and make sure you understand what they are offering and what you are getting do not assume they will be providing something if it is not in your contract and do not expect them to provide something that isn’t in your contract. Finally, make sure you get references and see samples of their work. Too often we hear of brides getting upset at a vendor because the bride expected something that she didn’t get. On the other side we hear of vendors who get upset with brides because they feel they are doing more than what the bride is paying for and the bride is still expecting more. Be very clear with what you will and won’t be getting from that particular professional. And if they do go above and beyond the call of duty make sure to tip them or at the very least write them a nice letter of recommendation, it goes a long way. See Tipping Etiquette.
8 - Not Involve the Groom – After all it is his wedding too. Let him be as much a part of the planning as he would like to be. Give him some responsibilities too. While he may not act like he cares, more than likely he does.
7 – Forgoing / Postponing The Honeymoon – If you follow this blog at all you know we are HUGE proponents of honeymoons. You don’t even need to go to a remote island in the pacific to have a romantic honeymoon, but please do yourselves a favor and take one. You’ve just spent a year or more of your life planning for one day, now that it has happened you are just going back to work on Monday?!?! You and your new hubby need to get away and just focus on each other. You’ve just completed a huge rite of passage, give yourselves a chance to let it soak in and adjust to being Mr and Mrs. Plus, people will treat you extra special because you are Honeymooners. You’ll never be able to recapture the moment or feeling if you delay your Honeymoon. See Top Honeymoon Locations.
6 – Not Having Someone to Plan/Coordinate For You – First of all I highly recommend hiring someone to do this for you preferably a professional. Professional planners know people in the industry. If something happens to go wrong they tend to have back up plans. If your photographers car breaks down (it has happened) they know of other photographers they could contact last minute to come help. Plus, the last thing you want to do is sit around worrying about who is showing up and when. A professional will have a list with them of all the vendors helping out with your wedding and will be on top of it. If you are not up for hiring a professional, then at the very least have someone else be responsible with the list of vendors, times of events and everything else. Don’t make it your responsibility, it will take away from your day.
5 – Thinking “It Could Never Rain on MY Wedding Day”- So many couples forget to plan for things going wrong. If you’re having an outdoor wedding, make sure that you have an alternate location in case of rain. Give a trusted person a list of vendors, phone numbers, and expected time of arrival so that you won’t be caught 10 minutes before the wedding without the bouquets. Bring a bridal emergency kit for last minute snafus.
4 – Not Hiring A Professional (different from #9) – Many brides like to go the DIY route. Nothing wrong with that, if you like driving yourself crazy. One of the smartest business people I know gave me some great advice once. He said he is successful because he hires good people to do their jobs and then gets out of their way. This couldn’t be more true for your wedding. Let the professionals who do this every day handle the details. You have the fun. Lets face it, you get what you pay for. I can’t stress it enough. If having fantastic pictures is important to you then don’t skimp on the photographer, if having great food is important than make sure your caterer has been around the block, if music and entertainment are a must then don’t bring an ipod, the list goes on and on. As someone who is close to so many wonderful wedding professionals I have heard horror story after horror story of someones friend or relative messing up their part of the wedding. See Our Blog Pro Vs. Joe.
3 – Being Inconsiderate – Yes, it’s your wedding, and your special day. But you need to take other people into consideration as well. After all, a good host puts others needs front and center. Think about what you are asking. Is what you need the wedding party to do fair? Have you been clear about your expectations about level of commitment? Will your guests be forced to stand around for over an hour while you take pictures? Will they be comfortable in the weather or have you thought to provide bottles of water, fans, and/or wraps and heaters? Do guests know what to expect? Are you planning your wedding for a holiday weekend when most of your in-town guests wish they could get out of town?
2 – Forgetting the Meaning of the Word “Budget” – You started off well, figuring how much you could save, how much parents would give, and what you already had in your bank account. But before you knew it, you spent twice what you budgeted for apparel on shoes alone, and the caterers laughed at you when you told them the food budget. At this point, a lot of couples would just throw costs out the window, and wind up starting a new life together thousands of dollars in debt. Instead, use the budget as a tool to figure out what you can cut, what you can save and where other income might come from. Not only will budgeting help you afford your wedding, but it’s an important skill for your married life. See Sound Financial Tips.
1 – Taking it Way Too Seriously , Not Focusing on Life After The Wedding – One thing all brides need to remember when planning their wedding is that it is just a wedding. Now I need to take what I just said and explain it a little. “Just a Wedding” doesn’t mean that it isn’t something important because it is and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your dream wedding because you should assuming that is important to you. However, it is a day or in some cases a couple of days. Once the fanfare of the wedding is over you now have the rest of your life to focus on. Remember that the wedding day will come and go, but your relationship with your spouse, your family and your friends will continue on way past the wedding. Make sure that you don’t forget that when planning your dream wedding.